Shinigami Baby's Parody of the Cliche Fics
by Shinigami Baby
Summary: We're all sick of them, yet they keep getting written... Yes, the cliche fics. There will be more... oh yes... there will be more. *wink*
1. Default Chapter Title

BWAHAHA! Time to do a CLICHE FIC the RIGHT way!!!! Warnings: YAOI (and lots of it, praise Shinigami), Character-bashing (mostly Relena. hey, it's fun), and those damn cliches I keep seeing here. From the spin the bottle fics to those damn "Duo Discovers (Fill In Idiocy Here)" fics. Yes, I'm gonna attack 'em all! MUAHAHAHAHA!  
  
  
"Annoying Cliches The Way It SHOULD Be Done"  
by Shinigami Baby  
  
PART ONE:  
The Annoying Spin The Bottle Fic  
  
Heero looked up from his "How To Kill A Stalker" book for a minute and noticed something was odd. People that didn't belong in their safe house were there. Heero frowned and put his fuzzy hot pink bookmark in his book, then stood up to go check things out.  
  
Upon entering the living room, he saw... a disturbing sight. Everyone he knew was seated in a circle playing... *gulp* SPIN THE BOTTLE!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Relena spotted him in an instant and motioned for him to sit down. "Heeeeeeroooooo! Here I am so come and SIT WITH ME!"  
  
Heero sighed and did her bidding. Things were so much easier if he didn't struggle. He took note of his company. The usual other four Gundam Pilots were there, along with Zechs, Noin, Sally, Hirde, Dorothy, and Catherine... and IT(Relena). 'Why the Hell are all these people here???' Heero wondered. 'Especially Zechs and Dorothy. Aren't they the bad guys right now?'  
  
Relena grabbed the bottle and held it up. "We can begin playing now since Heeeeerooooo is here with us." She set it down on the floor and gave it a spin. It stopped at... OH MY GOD! IT STOPPED AT HEERO! WOW! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING?   
  
Giggling like the moron that she is, Relena leaned over and kissed Heero lightly on the cheek. After this happened, our poor Heero made a run for the bathroom and scrubbed his cheek raw. Satisfied, he exited the bathroom and spun that damn bottle. It stopped in between Relena and Duo. Heero quickly dove at Duo and gave him a long kiss.  
  
Relena sat there dumbfounded. "HEY! It landed in the *middle*!"  
  
Duo wiped his mouth, a wide grin on his face. "Hee-chan already kissed you, though." He stuck his tongue out at her and pulled his eyelid down.  
  
Relena pouted. "How unfair! If I weren't an annoying pacifist, I'd kick your ass!"  
  
Quatre opened his mouth in protest, but decided to keep quiet... for now.  
  
Duo spun the bottle and it stopped on Wufei. Just before he could get to Wufei, however, stupid Hirde jumped in the way and puckered her Herpes infected lips. Duo screeched in fear and hid behind Heero.  
  
Wufei shrugged and spun the bottle. When it stopped on himself, he shrugged and spun it again, this time it landed on Quatre. Noticing the look he was getting from Trowa, Wufei just decided to hand the bottle to Quatre and forget the kiss. He *did* value his life, you know.  
  
Quatre spun the bottle, then Trowa stopped it and pointed it at himself. Quatre happily complied and kissed his koi. Satisfied, Trowa spun it next and it landed on Dorothy.  
  
Dorothy shook her head feverently. She was saving her first kiss for either Zechs or Relena. And from the looks of things right now, niether looked promising. So, she just spun the damn thing, hoping it would fall on one of them. And it did.  
  
"Oh Miss Relena! You're so beautiful!" Dorothy proclaimed as she glomped onto her conquest and kissed her. Sure, it was innocent enough at first... until Dorothy's hands were finding themselves in the strangest places... not that Relena minded.  
  
Annoyed with this damn cliche fic already, Shinigami Baby changed the scenery.  
  
PART TWO:  
The Damn "Duo Discovers Something" Fic  
Duo Discovers SEX! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!  
  
Duo sat on his bed reading a magazine. Heero walked into his room and looked over his shoulder.  
  
"What the Hell are you reading, Duo?" Heero asked, pointing to the magazine.   
  
"Cosmo" Duo grinned.  
  
Heero arched an eyebrow. "Why?"  
  
"The hair tips mostly. And I like to read the little horoscopes. Did you know that this month, I'm supposed to come into a lot of money?"  
  
"Those bullshit horoscopes always say that." Heero said, looking down at the magazine. He blinked. "Duo?"  
  
"Yeeees?"  
  
"This isn't the horoscope section... OR the hairtips thingy." Heero pointed out at the page that clearly stated '10 Ways To Drive Him Wild In Bed'.  
  
Duo blushed. "Oh.. heh. Well I read this section, too! It's really informative, you know."  
  
"Duo... you're a guy."  
  
Duo nodded. "A *gay* guy." Duo corrected. "Besides, it may come in handy some day."  
  
It was Heero's turn to blush. "So, um..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
Heero sat on the bed with Duo and read the page with him. "Do you wanna try some of that stuff and see if it works?"  
  
"Pick a number." Duo smirked.  
  
"Number 6" Heero said, a smirk of his own appearing.  
  
Duo nodded. "Yeah, that looks like fun." He stood up. "You stay here, I'll go get some stuff from Quatre's room." Duo took off.  
  
Heero fell back on the bed. This was going to bed fun. =^_^=  
  
Another change of scenery... Diddle-doot, Diddle-doot, Diddle-doot...  
  
PART THREE:  
Truth or Dare!!!  
  
Shinigami Baby squirmed. She didn't even *want* to do this one, it was so over-done. And with that, she skipped this extremely annoying cliche all together.  
  
  
END  
  
Variety... it's really something else. You know... out of all these cliche fics, I only read one good one. It was Didi's Truth or Dare one =^.^= Before everyone else started doing them, too! If I offended anyone, I apologize, this was all in good fun. You know... like a parody. Just be glad I don't MST some of these fics... It'd be brutal. Oh well! Jaaaa!  
  
~Shinigami Baby 


	2. Default Chapter Title

I found more clichés to make fun of soooooo.... This fic picks up where my last cliché bashing fic left off. Same warnings apply. Disclaimer: Not mine, although I have dreams, damn it all!!! =^_^= Let's enjoy a laugh, ne? *Hopes she doesn't offend anyone, this is for fun, afterall*  
  
  
"Not MORE Clichés! Ohhh The Humanity!"  
by Shinigami Baby  
  
  
Cliché #4  
The "There's a New Pilot and It's a Girl, Who Just So Happens to Also be the Author, Who Just So Happens to Hook Up With One of the Pilots" Fic  
  
  
...The new Gundam landed in the field and a young girl with long red hair and blue-ish green eyes jumped out of it. She was dressed in flares and a black tank top. On her left wrist she had three silver bracelets and a claw ring on her pinky. She looked no older than eighteen. The five pilots watched the girl wearily. Could a girl so frail-looking be the pilot of that vicious machine?  
  
She stood in a cocky pose and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "What are you guys staring at? Ever see a chick pilot that just so happened to be the author of the story before?" She asked sassily, eyeing Trowa the whole time.  
  
Duo shrugged. "She's got a point. This has been done to death."  
  
Heero nodded in agreement. "This is true."  
  
"For the love of all things sacred, just finish this cliché, onna!" Wufei said, rather annoyed with this cliché(can't blame him one bit).  
  
And so, with her authoress powers, Shinigami Baby and Trowa were married.   
  
THE END  
  
  
Cliché #5  
The "Super-Duper Impossible Toonami Cross-Over With Other Anime" Fic  
  
  
Even though they were from totally different time periods, Heero and Usagi fell in love. They forgot all about who they were helplessly in love with before they met. Usagi told Mamoru to take a hike, while Heero ditched Duo in the middle of the night. They were happy now.  
  
"Oh Heero... I love you!" Usagi exclaimed.  
  
"I love you too, Usagi." Heero said.  
  
Duo ran into the room. "I FOUND YOU!" He pointed a finger at Heero. "You cheating bastard... that's okay, though! 'Cuz I met someone new, too!" Duo dragged his new love out of the shadows. "Meet Vegeta!"  
  
"VEGETAAAA!?"  
  
Duo nodded. "Isn't he just so cute? I love you Veggie-poo!"  
  
"Um, Duo, I have to tell you something..." Vegeta said guiltily.  
  
"What is it, snookums?" Duo asked, playing with Vegeta's gravity defying hair.  
  
"I've been cheating on you with Tenchi!"   
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Duo wailed.  
  
Tenchi appeared out of nowhere and glomped onto Vegeta. "It's true! I love Vegeta more than you ever will, Duo!"  
  
"I can't believe this!" Duo said in a state of shock. "You're bastards! All of you!" Duo ran off crying about how unfair life was.  
  
Heero shrugged and walked away with Usagi while Vegeta and Tenchi made out.  
  
  
=^_^= That's all for now. There will be others, of this I am sure. This is all for a laugh, I hope I didn't offend anyone too much. Bye minna!  
  
~Shinigami Baby  



End file.
